BRICOLEUR

  How do you lose yourself? You're a tenth grader and you decide it's high time and you better start being serious. You do all your work, keep yourself occupied all the time so that you barely have time to even socialise, but, you stop doing the little things you enjoyed doing. You don't sing in the shower anymore and you don't wander off in your own world of peculiar imagination and you soon realise that you've lost your creativity. Before, it was so easy to get over tough times.  Of course, back then, you had support from just about everyone you knew.  I mean, you could literally just brush off your problems and begin again. But now, all your problems just seem to add up. You're less bubbly now and you barely know what to say in conversations. The distance between you and the people that mean the world to you just gets bigger and bigger. You upset people without having the slightest bit of knowledge on what you did wrong. YOU'RE MISUNDERSTOOD. You worke...

I'm sitting down at my desk right now- window wide open, wind in my face, head aching to write because its the only way I can let it all out. I realised I do a lot of thinking and one thing leads to another. I realised I make things sadder than they have to be. I make things sound a lot worse than they should. I realise that there are too many versions of me in this universe. The girl I bumped into but didn't stop to say sorry to has a version of me in her mind. The teacher who saw me sitting criss-crossed on the floor with my head against the wall like everything was coming to an end has another version of me. The guy I let copy my homework has a different version of me. Even my friends and family and everyone I have, and haven't met in my life has their own version of me that I will never be aware of. I realise I'm scared of the future and what could be but at the same time I'm scared of what couldn't be. I'm scared of the things I might have to sacrifi...