BRICOLEUR

We try finding ourselves in other people and when we see ourselves fade away, that's when the so called love disappears. Love is  kinda complicated right? It has the power to build us up and tear us down all at the same time. It brings you to your knees and brushes you against the fire of pain. Well now it doesn't sound too fun. But we want it anyway. When you're staring at yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes begging yourself to just hold on and be strong, just because of "love". If this is love then what's the point? It gives you anxiety and makes you feel worthless and incompetent to a point where you become the air, the breeze and just a pebble in the ocean. Love hurts. A lot. And I wish I knew why because I feel torn apart from who I used to be and possibly who I've always wanted to be but I cant walk away. He makes me feel alive but dead. He makes me want to give up but hold on. He makes me see myself differently yet the same. And I lon...

We've all been there, haven't we? That awkward stage of so-called love where you fall in love with your first crush in your teenage years and then watch them give that love to someone else who gives that love to someone else who gives that love to someone else who gives........It's a never ending chain. But then there's the super lucky people who have everything together in life and they and their partner are totally #tumblrrelationshipgoals. And you sit and wonder why your life had to be so messed up and why you could never be that person whom they fell in love with...Ugh. Teenage Love. And even more sadly, your first love never leaves you. You fall harder day by day, slowly wondering why you even exist when their totally perfect boyfriend/girlfriend makes them so happy. And for the cherry on the top, you try to convince yourself that it's for the best. Because you'd rather see them happy, even if their happiness doesn't include you.  Just admit it. We...

"I was in the seventh grade when I first saw you, and I fell in love with your hazel brown eyes, messy hair and silly jokes.I fell in love with your terrible puns, stunning cheekbones and your senseless talks. I fell in love with you, completely, but dear little did I know that I must never fall in love cause everything that falls breaks.My little heart was broken into a million pieces, I wanted to follow my heart but it's in a million pieces which piece should I follow? I wanted to get over you but how, cause when I'm alone the sound of our silence engulfs me and suddenly beautiful old memories of us come back to me.I swear, I tried to forget you but those memories are forever stuck,trapped in my soul. Those nights are forever jailed in all four chambers of my heart. I'm angry but I still miss you. I'm broken but I still love you..... and no matter how hard you try to pull the ocean back it will never stop kissing the shore ; no matter how high the sky rises it...

"This will never come true." I don't think today, January 14th 2016, can get any worse for me. Today, one of the world's most influential character and a brilliant actor has been lost to cancer. OK, I know this sounds a bit too emotional and grave. So here's the thing. This man is my hero. Here is the man who showed me the hero hidden within others. Here is the hero who carried the pain all along. Here is the hero who was driven by good but taken to be bad. Here is the hero of sacrifice. Now I know Alan was just an actor but he played his part well and let's say is more commonly known as the Slytherin head "Severus Snape". He was know as one of the most cruel and  bad character, till Umbridge arrives and of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The oath "Always" is quite famous now. OK, so the point of writing this was not to just show my love and pain for Alan and his family but I realized today how much a character who...