BRICOLEUR

Those unsent letters Half unwritten poems Those times when you just want to complete the puzzle but you're scared that something unexpected might turn up. Should I? Or should I not? All those nights when you sit by you sit by your window looking at the grey sky and asking yourself if you even belong in this face of the world. Do you? Maybe. Maybe not. Every time you watch a candle turn into a heap of wax you realise that once you're asleep, you wouldn't really matter anymore. Would you? You don't think so. You just hope you would, really. Every time you're pushed down you ask yourself what you're even awake for. Do you think you really needed that? Yeah, me neither. Those times when you loose a person who meant everything to you. Your  everybody .You wonder if they  sit up all night thinking about it as well, or they're just getting on with it. Did you ever really matter to them? You pray that at some point, you did. Those grey nights wher...

Hey, I know we haven't seen each other or even talked to each other in a while. But I want you to know that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I want you to know that- I miss you. Not 'I regret what happened' or 'I wanna see you again', just... I miss you . Just- I miss you. It's so strange to think that someone I knew so well is now a total stranger to me, that sometimes I go entire days without thinking about you, at all. Most of the time I let myself forget because it's easier. But then I find something- A photo, a gift, the stupid love letters we used to give each other and the full weight of what's being lost crashes down on me. Part of me wants to see you again, to hold you again, to kiss you- again. But all those feelings become empty thoughts when I look back now remembering that love isn't what it seems. It's just so easy to forget...but this isn't regret, we had our reasons for ending it and they were as valid as...

As an add-on to the last post where a lot of us could relate to school and the pressure and those useless to-do lists, I decided to highlight the reason some of us are pulling all-nighters finishing assignments and homework which we obviously could have done like three days ago but pssht- Ain't nobody got time for that. It must've been the 'weekend' or a 'favourite TV show' or feeling the need to 'binge watch every single video on Buzzfeed' (but really cmon everyone's done that at least once)- all of which were much more important (obviously) than those chapters of physics and math problems- the ones you look at and give that long * sigh * to every time your eyes find them stacked on your desk, before you walk away avoiding the long hours of hard work you'll have to put in to complete them. Flash forward to 12am Sunday night - you're probably still texting your friends telling them about all the work you didn't do and how you'...

If you're anything like me, school is just an endless cycle of  'I need to make it through this week', every week. I hate school. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my friends and learning new things everyday.I hate school because we get judged for how well we can memorise our textbooks. We go to school 6-7 hours a day and take classes that probably won't benefit us in the long run and go home and do 3 hours of homework. We learn about covalent bonds and quadratic equations and how to prove triangles similar? Totally going to help us when we are struggling in real life situations. On the other hand teaching us how to be better people might be slightly beneficial given that  more than half the people in high school are 99.9% bitch. Now that we've established my hatred, reality is there's nothing we can do about it. The system is never going to change and neither are the people around us. We have almost 2 weeks to the over exaggerated, time-to-put-in-hard work...

Looking outside the window, I can't help smiling to myself about how obsessed I am with the quote " Autumn is such a beautiful season; yet everything is dying ". It was probably because I see it everyday. Autumn doesn't last forever in the plant side. It's passed on. To us humans. And then back again. Thus it repeats. But if noticed, autumn is more of a human phase rather than a season. The trees look absolutely stunning.  So does the girl in front of me. Like everyone who despised beauty and threw rocks at diamonds, I can't help admit that iI  once  thought she was what everyone used to say. Since she's wearing shorts, it didn't take much time while i was passing by to notice the marks on her thighs. They were claws. Jagged lines that ended abruptly. Scars. Never had anyone looked more beautiful. I have to admit, I couldn't help admiring them. They were beautiful in a way that a face of clear skin could never be, a kind that couldn't even...

As absurd as this sounds, you're the only one who'll understand. I miss the tests, the projects, tons of homework. Yeah it sounds like I'm a nerd but no. It takes my mind off things. I like having a book by my side always. And I do.  I do have 2 books. I have maybe like a few leftover sums and questions to complete,  but today isn't the same. Never have I felt so lonely in my room. Never have I been in the dark and thought about anything but ghosts. But today,  I'm not afraid of the dark. It's my solace now. My companion. My shadow. Never have I ever sat on my bed and felt lost. Never have I sat at my table and felt...useless... or hopeless you could say. like~ Why breathe if you know you're going to die anyway? Today,  I can concentrate. I never thought that things could just turn. I mean I know pain and joy are two sides of the coin,  but how can these be so extreme? They say there's sunshine after rain,  good th...

 It all began like any other story. We hated each other cold. But it melted away when the first few sparks of friendship changed everything. The sparks grew into a strong blue flame. Somehow it never managed to turn red. It was almost like a masquerade. We pretended to be and not to be. Surprisingly it only brought us closer. We used to build ourselves this perfect world and break it all apart ever so often that it became a routine. We turned friendship cynical.  We did the stupidest things and I have so much to remember. Honestly, I dont think I was anything or anyone before these people. They've changed me in an irreversible way and I dont really know if I'm supposed to be grateful or lost to myself. I loved how we could talk about nothing and everything at the same time. They gave me a sense of belonging and I felt complete. Together we were the sharp autumn breeze on searing afternoons. Summer soon drifted and turned into autumn itself and like everyone else we fa...