BRICOLEUR

We try finding ourselves in other people and when we see ourselves fade away, that's when the so called love disappears. Love is  kinda complicated right? It has the power to build us up and tear us down all at the same time. It brings you to your knees and brushes you against the fire of pain. Well now it doesn't sound too fun. But we want it anyway. When you're staring at yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes begging yourself to just hold on and be strong, just because of "love". If this is love then what's the point? It gives you anxiety and makes you feel worthless and incompetent to a point where you become the air, the breeze and just a pebble in the ocean. Love hurts. A lot. And I wish I knew why because I feel torn apart from who I used to be and possibly who I've always wanted to be but I cant walk away. He makes me feel alive but dead. He makes me want to give up but hold on. He makes me see myself differently yet the same. And I lon...

We've all been there, haven't we? That awkward stage of so-called love where you fall in love with your first crush in your teenage years and then watch them give that love to someone else who gives that love to someone else who gives that love to someone else who gives........It's a never ending chain. But then there's the super lucky people who have everything together in life and they and their partner are totally #tumblrrelationshipgoals. And you sit and wonder why your life had to be so messed up and why you could never be that person whom they fell in love with...Ugh. Teenage Love. And even more sadly, your first love never leaves you. You fall harder day by day, slowly wondering why you even exist when their totally perfect boyfriend/girlfriend makes them so happy. And for the cherry on the top, you try to convince yourself that it's for the best. Because you'd rather see them happy, even if their happiness doesn't include you.  Just admit it. We...

"I was in the seventh grade when I first saw you, and I fell in love with your hazel brown eyes, messy hair and silly jokes.I fell in love with your terrible puns, stunning cheekbones and your senseless talks. I fell in love with you, completely, but dear little did I know that I must never fall in love cause everything that falls breaks.My little heart was broken into a million pieces, I wanted to follow my heart but it's in a million pieces which piece should I follow? I wanted to get over you but how, cause when I'm alone the sound of our silence engulfs me and suddenly beautiful old memories of us come back to me.I swear, I tried to forget you but those memories are forever stuck,trapped in my soul. Those nights are forever jailed in all four chambers of my heart. I'm angry but I still miss you. I'm broken but I still love you..... and no matter how hard you try to pull the ocean back it will never stop kissing the shore ; no matter how high the sky rises it...

As she switched off the last glowing light bulb making the room unbearably black, the dim glow from the crescent shaped moon poured in through the windows. Instinctively, she lit a candle and climbed upon the high risen desk to soak in the perfection that nights sky had created. A dark blue fading into a light purple with wispy clouds. It always fascinated her how things seemed so effortlessly beautiful. These were the nights- no homework or anything to do in particular. Just her, her wild imagination and thoughts she often drowned into. If only someone came along and told her that she alone could save herself from falling into her cracks. The sky didn't have much to offer. But she never complained. The smallest things caught her eye and the simplest things were cherished. Being attentive wasn’t her strongest point either...every other thing soon became a distraction. But don’t judge too soon. She wasn’t always this way. Years ago, an innocent girl existed, with everything she e...

A Short Story... You looked at me with those deep brown eyes for the seventh time that night...but it wasn't passion, it was more of a painful nervousness. My eyes asked you if everything was okay but you looked away. I searched for your legs from under the table but you had tucked them inside your chair. Communication wasn't really an option with our families around so I had no other choice other than sleeping on it until the next day. "Is it me?", I asked almost innocently. You gazed into my eyes for almost a minute before you bent down to kiss me. It felt like you were longing to hold me but something held you back. It was the first time that day that I noticed the tears in your eyes. Your hands were trembling. You wanted to say something but couldn't bring yourself to do so. "write it down.", I whispered softly. You shook your head. "Wanna walk?", you asked. We walked twenty minutes into the woods until you finally spoke up. "I...

Isn't it crazy how things can fall apart so fast? So fast that you hardly notice till everything's actually gone. And all that's left is you- and your empty thoughts. My life can't be described as a series of unfortunate events but everything has its ups and downs, right? Since the 5th grade, I lost my best friend one after the other every single year. Each year I'd make a new one and precisely the next year they'd move away. It continued on and on. Till 8th grade when I met this amazing girl. At first, I hesitated. I mean how many times can a person go through the same thing? once. twice. Maybe thrice. but a fourth time? It's not the most likely thing to happen. Before we knew it we were closer than anything. And even sooner than that. She left. It happened. Yet again. I lost the one person I'd been living off of. Thinking back, I'd say that we never seem to look forward. At what happens later. We're all so caught up in "now" that no...